Bridge Over Trouble Water

Crying_Woman

Today is one of those days. You know the kind that I’m talking about. I wish life could be full of happiness, but it’ not. Today I just want to go back to bed and crawl under the covers.

There’d be days like this, Momma said.
Momma said there’d be days like this,
There’d be days like this my momma said.

I just need to remind myself of that every once in a while. Especially on days like today, when a certain offspring has made me want to run away from home.

I am in the most depressing of moods. I feel like crying. Have you ever had one of those days, where you take every thing said to you, as an insult. You’re just waiting for someone to say something to you, so you’d have an excuse to go postal on them.

If I’ve been snarky with you this week and chances are good that if we talked, I have been. I apologize.

Losing a child is the hardest thing that any parent has to go through. When you loose a child, you attend to become over protective of your other children for fear it will happen again.

My daughter died. I can’t bear the thought of losing another child.

I love my children more than anything, but it feels like that love just isn’t getting through.

These days the gap between my oldest daughter and I feels unbridgeable. I’m reminded of the song “love can build a bridge” by Naomi & Wynonna Judd.

I feel like we’ve come to that bridge, but there is a toll that one must pay to cross it. I am willing to pay whatever it takes to get across that bridge to her.

Sometimes, I wish that I could run away. I long for the harmony that was once apart of this household. I feel worn out trying to get her to understand that the relationships that she is putting herself in are unhealthy ones.

There’d be weeks like this, Momma said.
Momma said there’d be weeks like this,
There’d be weeks like this my momma said.

If only children were born with an instruction manual. I know that there will be rougher waters ahead. I just hope that she crosses that bridge. I know that I’ll be here waiting on the other side, when and if she does cross it.

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