Rose DesRochers – World Outside my Window

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Rose DesRochers – World Outside my Window

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend

January 29th, 2007 by Rose DesRochers · 27 Comments

There are a few blogs I visit regularly and today I have decided that I will no longer be visiting those blogs. I have noticed a clique forming in the blogosphere and you are either in or you are out.

It has become some popularity contest and you are either with them or you’re the child in school who never got a Valentine card when the rest of the class did. You’re the one that never got invited to birthday parties. You’re the loner trying hard to fit in.

I’m not in the in-crowd. Should I care? I’m growing rather tired of trying to impress these bloggers. I am whom I am.

Life can be filled with disappointments if we always need to seek the approval of others.

If you’re like me, and you let people get the best of you then take some time today to read my article that I wrote entitled “Are You Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend?”

Not my scene

Not your scene Β© 2007 Rose DesRochers

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Rose wears many hats. She's a wife, mother, respite worker, proud shih-tzu owner, blogger, published poet, freelance writer, as well as the owner and administrator of Today's Writing Community and Blogger Talk Blogging Community. Feel free to contact her with any questions you may have.Rose DesRochers has 1019 post(s) at Rose DesRochers – World Outside My Window

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27 responses so far ↓

  • Lisa
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:34 pm

    Hi Rose, popped in as I saw your name on a few other sites I visited. I went over and read your article re-post. You made some excellent points. We all have to be who we truly are and leave it at that- let the chips fall as they may. Thanks for the reminder. πŸ™‚

  • Tammy
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    What an awesome article Rose!!!
    One I needed today!!

  • katie
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you so much for this post and the article, I strongly agree with the things you said! Life is too short to waste it trying to be something we’re not. We are who we are, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

  • Joanna
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    Rose, thank you for your comments. I have just read your article and found it very uplifting. As someone who has always struggled with self-esteem, it made me feel a lot better. Thank you and keep up the good work.

  • Christine
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    Rose, thanks for posting about this. This is exactly how I feel. I’ve never been part of a clique, and anyone who needs to be impressed I wouldn’t consider a true friend.

  • Invader_Stu
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    I used to be my own worst enemy a little bit I think but I decided to change all that this year

  • JMom
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 6:24 pm

    Hi Rose, just dropped by to wish you a happy new year! I’m back, and i’m still catching up on emails and bloghopping. I got your invites to Funny monday, and christmas wishes, thanks. I’ll try to get back to blogging schedule soon.

    BTW, I agree with you there about cliques. It makes me feel like being in high school again. But then, I just keep reminding myself the reason I started blogging in the first place. For ME. If ME is pleased, then everyone else can do whatever pleases them. πŸ˜† Here’s to another year of blogging!

  • Pink
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 6:36 pm

    wouldn’t want to be part of a club that would take me as a member – Groucho Marx.

    how true indeed!

  • Viola J
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 8:00 pm

    Very nice post. I could not agree with you more. I am new to this, but I am doing for me and for those who care. Come visit me if you would like. I’d love to hear from you. I’ll bookmark you since I love poetry.


  • yoshi
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    Unfortunately the blogosphere is not quite what it used to be. Usually I get disgusted after a while, and just quit posting because…I get tired of it. Blogging is too much like work for me, because it’s what I do.

    But then I come back and post for a while, and get tired of it again. Kinda like to come back and see what’s going on.

    Unfortunately, it often seems like nothing’s going on. It’s pretty sad.

    I personally think that forming cliques is inevitable. And a lot of the times it doesn’t start out that way, but it just ends up that way. We’re all humans, everyone will form cliques. The only person that won’t has no friends, and doesn’t care. (often I like to think that’s me. πŸ˜› )

    Well, once again I forgot my original point, because I like to babble. I’m sure I made some kind of point in the middle of all that. Sorry for the entry length comment.

  • Teena in Toronto
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    I agree!! I try never to give up my “power”. People won’t treat you badly unless you allow them. Life’s too short for that πŸ™

  • Nineveh Menifee
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 11:04 pm

    First, I did read your blog on ettiquette. Yet, I still really only wanted to comment on the photograph connected to this blog. I study art and tend to be a bit jaded but the photograph that you’ve displayed is lovely. Did you take it yourself?

  • Nineveh Menifee
    Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    On second look…is this a painting? Either way, I like the feel of it.

  • Rose DesRochers
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 1:32 am

    Nineveh Menifee thank you. Someone was in a band and they were looking to release an ep they asked my husband or I to make them an album cover and this was just one of my attempts. The photo is several images rendered together and then I gave it a layer effect. I did it in Paint Shop Pro. It is a hobby of mine. It did turn out rather cool didn’t it. I made the image and they disappeared. Here is another one that I did too.
    Not your Scene

  • hammer
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 6:35 am

    I hear where you’re coming from. I spent much of my life as odd man out and have found similar cliques like you describe.

    Luckily there are enough nice thoughtful folks out there to balance things out.

  • Teena in Toronto
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 9:04 am

    And maybe I’m naive but I didn’t realize that there is a clique forming on the blogosphere. I guess that means I’m “out” rather than “in”. Cuz if I was “in”, wouldn’t I know it?

    If the blogosphere is getting cliquish, that’s too bad. I’m just here to have fun and make friends πŸ™‚

  • Top cat
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 9:58 am

    I visit blogs because I like what the blogger has to say. Some blogs are serious, some are artistic, some are funny and some are all of the above.
    I link people because I like their blogs and it is convenient to click and visit.
    I never was in the in crowd in school.
    I never jump on fads, especially the ones that are supposed to make you look different but then you wind up looking like everyone else so what’s the purpose.
    I have the belief if you enjoy a blog and the blogger who posts on it then you should continue visiting that blog but if the blogger makes you feel left out by their comments than it’s a natural instinct to not want to visit anymore.
    does this make any sense?

  • Kim
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 11:12 am

    Oh, I totally agree with you about the cliques. I have been noticing it more and more and more importantly, I have been turning away from it. I don’t want to be involved in anything like that, I started my blog for me, to journal for me – not to try to be popular ya know.

    I loved your article! You are a wonderful writer!

    Have a Blessed Day! πŸ™‚

  • carmen
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    I hope you always feel welcome over at Gone to Plaid. I can be no one other than myself, and we should strive to be the best selves we can be, so that we’re happy, not worrying about others.

  • Rose DesRochers
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Kim I understand completely. I wish I had of kept my distance from these blogger cliques. While I may have lost some of my readership the ones who really enjoyed my blog will return.
    It’s sad to say that there are more false friends out there in the blogosphere than true friends and sadly it took having my feelings hurt before I could see that.

    Teena, while some might deny, there are definitely cliques and when you say something negative about one of them in the clique it’s seen as attacking & the entire clique turns on you.

    Top Cat, I understand completely. I have visited a few blogs where the blogger has had 40 to 100 comments and I definitely feel left out. I hope that I’ve not made anyone here feel that way.

    Hammer, I’m seeing that right here in this post. πŸ˜‰

    Yoshi, out of those cliques how many of them are loyal friends?

    Viol thank you for the invite. I’m so glad I did visit you.

    Lisa, I’m glad you dropped by. I would like to return a visit, but your link is not working. πŸ™

    Tammy, glad you enjoyed the article.

    Katie, true so very true.

    Joanna, my pleasure.

    (((((Jmom)))))))) I have missed you. Welcome back. I hope that you had a nice trip?

    Christine, my pleasure and I’m seeing who my true friends are.

    Stu, I never saw you as that type of person.

    Pink, good quote!

  • Top cat
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    sometimes I have 100 comments but most of them are me.LOL
    btw, I really like the pics you photo shopped.
    Very nice and they would make terrific album covers.
    Never feel left out over here.:)

  • Laura
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    I run a clique-free blog and lead a clique-free life. My friends are as varied as all the vegetables that are in my crock pot at the moment, for it’s cold outside and this is going to be one delicious meal.

    Like you, I’ve noticed cliques forming in the blogosphere, in part because groups of bloggers will find things they all have in common and they’ll gravitate toward each other as friends tend to do. But when they do so at the expense of others, when they only discuss matters pertaining to their group and leave newcomers out, they’ll drag themselves down in the long run.

    Variety is the spice of life, and when a group sticks together without breathing new life in it, it will become stale and stagnant in the long run.
    Congrats to you for sticking to your own beliefs and following your gut! πŸ™‚

    Here via Tammy ( KyGal). πŸ˜‰

  • Betty
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    Thanks for dropping by to say hello.
    I don’t think there is a prettier name in the English language than Rose, because that’s one of two favorite flowers of mine.
    As for cliques, I’m just me, not out to impress anyone.
    God Bless.

  • Rose DesRochers
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Laura what a wonderful metaphor and your post gives one much to think about. Thank you for dropping by my blog & I do hope that you’ll return.

    Betty, thank you. πŸ™‚

    Top cat thank you for the compliment and the welcome.

    Crazy Working Mom, thank you. I needed to hear that.

  • Heather in Beautiful British Columbia
    Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    I’m here, reading because I want to be – not because you are in or out – your blog interests me and I’ll be back… πŸ™‚

  • JHS
    Wrote: Feb 2, 2007 at 2:19 am

    I think I know what you are referring to, Rose.

    My attitude? Ppppppppffffffffffttttttt.

    I’ve never been part of the “in” crowd, so why should I care now? I recently left organized religion behind because I would not go along with the clique and take the popular stance when I knew that to do so was inherently wrong. Guess what? The pastor was the leader of the clique. Screw that nonsense.

    If nobody visits my blog because I don’t play some stupid little games, then I’ll just talk to myself. That’s ok, ‘cuz I like me. I’m pretty good company. πŸ˜†

  • Rose DesRochers
    Wrote: Jan 28, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Things can certainly be misunderstood online & I’m sorry to hear of your unpleasant experience, however I have also seen first hand bullying in the blogosphere and it isn’t very nice.