Bizarre Search Terms – Strange Email

I was taking a look at what terms people use to find their way to my blog after receiving a really strange email through my contact form from someone who fantasizes about me. ( Excuse me while I vomit.) Anyway, I found some really bizarre search terms listed in my stats counter.

Someone from the UK wants to know how to use a duck vibrator. (Hell if I know. I just blogged about the thing.)

Dog sex – Listen here you sick people- I suggest you seek help.

Willie Nelson’s death– Willie Nelson is not dead!

A lot of people at my front door – Add an under quarantine sign to your front door. That should send them running.

Under Quarantine
Casual Sexual encounters– (None to be found here- Please move along)

How to wear wonderjock – (Heck if I know. I’m guessing you just stuff your equipment in the thing.)

Hello Kitty Sextoy – Maybe they were looking for the “Hello Kitty Vibrator” or they could be looking for The “Hello Kitty condom”. Wait that isn’t a Hello Kitty condom. It is “Hello Kitty Cheese” in a condom package.

hello kitty condom cheese

Penis Trophy – Hmm- how about a Gee-A-Dick Pet instead. The Gee-A-Dick is like a penis shaped chia pet. Just Add Water and watch your dick grow.


Now for that ‘strange email’ from John Rogers who was yahooing me. I had to post the email of course.

i dont know why i fantasize having sex with you, i’m turned-on on your sexy eyes and lips and lovely face.

Should I be flattered? Look John I already have one ass in my pants- I don’t need two.

What weird search terms do people use to find your blog?

If you liked this post, why not buy me a coffee?