Parenting adult children

Confessions of a Hovering Mom

Being a mom to an adult daughter isn’t easy. Here I am treating my 20 year old daughter as if she were still a little girl, scolding her and telling her that her skirt is too short.

When in reality as an adult my daughter gets to make her own decisions in life, even if I don’t always like the choices she makes.

As a parent we want the best for our children, but as they grown into adulthood we have no say regarding how they live their life or how they dress. ( Insert laugh)

I fear I may have some helicopter parent in me. Picture it now. There I am flying overhead in my mommy helicopter ready to swoop in and fix everything in my daughter’s life.

I openly admit that I’m constantly rescuing my daughter and cleaning up her mistakes. I know some of my need to jump in and rescue stems from my own anxiety, but I need to step back and realize the only way she is going to grow is if I allow her to.

The term helicopter parents were coined in the 1990s by Foster Cline and Jim Faye in their book, Parenting with Love and Logic. They developed the term to describe parents who hover over their children.

I need to remind myself that it is her life, as well as work on letting go of my helicopter parenting and lecturing. Maybe I need to read some self-help parenting books or speak to a counselor. What do you think?

Do you have any words of wisdom that you can give the mother of a 20 year old? How involved should parents be in the lives of their adult children?

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