Rose DesRochers – World Outside my Window

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Rose DesRochers – World Outside my Window

My Borderline daughter

October 4th, 2010 by Rose DesRochers · 12 Comments

I spent another night/ early morning in the emergency room. My daughter had just taken an overdose of antibiotics.

Reason: It was another case of the “I hate you, don’t leave me” that A.J. Mahari refers to as the borderline dance in her post The Borderline Dance –
“I-Hate-You, Don’t-Leave-Me.”

She hates her b/f one minute, then loves him the next. When he goes to leave her she overdoses on pills to get a dramatic response from him. Her self injury comes from her deep emotional need to feel validated.

Before she could be released from hospital she had to have a psychiatric evaluation. 8 hours elapsed before an evaluator came in to access her.

9 am this morning, someone from crisis released her from the hospital advising her to go see a service that provides counseling services to 16 to 24 year-olds who are having social, emotional or family problems. This was not helpful. These counselors do not address her real problem nor do they understand it.

My daughter has tried the counseling route. She needs to find a skilled therapist who understands BPD.

My daughter left the hospital still in a state of BPD rage. She was consumed with her b/f. Her father and I were simply two objects in which she could vent her anger and emotion to. It did not matter that we were the ones at the hospital, the ones who had gone hours without sleep. She was not concerned that her behavior had a direct impact or her brother, father or I.

Tonight she is back at her apartment with her boyfriend as I sit here powerless and emotionally exhausted.

BPD- a virtually unending cycle.

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Rose wears many hats. She's a wife, mother, respite worker, proud shih-tzu owner, blogger, published poet, freelance writer, as well as the owner and administrator of Today's Writing Community and Blogger Talk Blogging Community. Feel free to contact her with any questions you may have.Rose DesRochers has 1019 post(s) at Rose DesRochers – World Outside My Window

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12 responses so far ↓

  • Rich Wallace
    Wrote: Oct 4, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    Sorry, Rose.

    We’ve dealt with that and it sounds a lot like “Approach-Avoidance Conflict”. This is actually one of the conditions I used to blog about before I took that blog down.

    I wish you all the best.

  • Mike Goad
    Wrote: Oct 4, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. It’s got to be hard. A nephew of ours went through many of the same issues and it wasn’t pleasant.

  • Patricia@lavenderuses
    Wrote: Oct 4, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    I feel for you Rose. I don’t have children but I am very close to my niece and remember her teen years and the dramas although none resulting in hospital trips.
    Hope for all your sakes she gets the proper help soon.
    Patricia Perth Australia


    Rose DesRochers Reply:

    My daughter isn’t a teen. She is a young woman with a mental illness. Thank you for your concern.

  • Margaret
    Wrote: Oct 4, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    I can’t imagine how stressful and disheartening this would be. My heart is hurting for you, dear Rose. Take care.

  • rummuser
    Wrote: Oct 5, 2010 at 8:46 am

    My heart goes out to you, your husband and your daughter. I know something about BPD and it is not easy to be around someone with that problem. From where I am, I can only send you my best wishes and moral support. If there is anything at all that I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask.

  • Jaime-Ann
    Wrote: Oct 5, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Oh Rose. I know words can’t always make someone feel better but I want you to know that I read this post and life around me stopped for a few moments.

    It is hard to imagine how it must feel as a parent with a child going through this, but even more when your child is an adult and not living in your home.

    My sister’s ex husband put her through some of the same types of experiences. He was/is the one with BPD and it was to our surprise that the therapists would say he was fine – even though he had dome something crazy and was on 51/50. (that’s a whole other story)

    I know you know this, but your daughter needs to learn how to love herself before she can see things for what they are around her.

    I am heartbroken, as a mother, and a bloggy-buddy, that you have to go through this.


  • Kim
    Wrote: Oct 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Rose: I too am so sorry that you are going through this with your daughter. My partner is a PA in psychiatry and I’ve heard a little about this disorder. From what I’ve heard, it is very challenging to say the least. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • Karen Cruz
    Wrote: Oct 6, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    Sorry to hear you are dealing with this Rose. I hope everything works out for her.

  • Sliloh
    Wrote: Oct 13, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    As hard as it is for you, remember it’s doubly hard for her. The DSM-IV-TR puts it this way “Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.” Trust me, that’s not a good feeling for us borderlines. My solution was to avoid relationships. Not an ideal solution but it keeps me stable.

    I suggest she find dialectical behavior therapy but even that is not an easy fix. Best wishes to her and you.


    Rose DesRochers Reply:

    She has taken DBT twice.

    I know it is hard for her.

  • Udegbunam Chukwudi
    Wrote: Oct 16, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Raising kids can be so tasking and that’s why I fear having them in the future as they would require a lot of attention on my part.

    I pray the Lord God Almighty grants you relieve from this burden @ some point in time